Discovering Self

As I sit here in my college library, cold from the air-conditioning (it’s a warm day today!) I’ve begun to think about the things I’ve been learning about Islam and the history of religion for the past few days. Last night I sat at the computer for hours researching information about Islam, and older religious myths. There were things that made me think that I should revert back, but then other things made me not want to. One thing I’ve learned is that there is evidence to suggest that some of the stories of the Quran (as well as the Bible and Torah) were copied from older myths. This would include the story of Noah, Moses, and Jesus. But some people have said that there is reason to believe that these stories were originally told a long time ago, but other religions took them and changed them….so the stories had been changed many times…and so the Quran is just re-telling them the way they are meant to be.

I’ve begun to think about whether or not I believe that these stories in the Quran actually happened. Naturally I would say “no” because of what I’ve learned of religions copying one anothers stories (or myths). But then I wonder if I only feel this way because I think I should, or because I really don’t believe they are true. 

It’s very difficult for me to explain my thinking a lot of the time. It’s as if I believe one thing, I know something else, but I don’t want to believe in it. I can’t really tell the difference between what I truly believe and what I want to believe. I know I definitley believe in God, and to some extent I believe the Quran is perfect (I know that doesn’t make any sense). As for everything else, I am still researching and learning. I don’t know how long it will take me to finally have my epiphany (if at all). It might be a few hours, a few days, or a few years (hopefully not that long!) I just don’t want to jump into things too quickly, not being sure of what I really believe in. I’ve made that mistake too many times before.